who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize