get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
