Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
