Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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