What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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