dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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