just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
