whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
