he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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