i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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