Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
