so let's talk penis.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
