i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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