so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
