Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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