Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
