The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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