we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
