Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Randomize