yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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