This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize