I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
