All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize