how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He has the fingertips of a God
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