How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
