Just fell off a train. Bad.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
