you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
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