just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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