There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize