I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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