I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
