I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
