i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
