You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Your penis caused this!
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