Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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