Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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