just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
