Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
