So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
My vagina is very pro this idea
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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