Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
