I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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