Just cropdusted the office
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
