He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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