it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
