tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
