I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
