he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
