With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
