Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
