grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
