Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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