Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
