So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
