I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she pinky promised me she was 18
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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