Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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