i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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