Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We need to rekindle our bromance
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm always down for nudity.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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