My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
