her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
