I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
