alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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