i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
