He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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