If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
