NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
