my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So squirting runs in the family.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
