It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
