I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My ass is underappreciated
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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