we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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