can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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