Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Sorry about my life...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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