He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
