Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
