he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
