No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
