i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
