i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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