He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize