i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
